Wednesday, December 11, 2019

Uninvited Friend Request

The cold clawed hand or your corpse reaches
across the binary sphere and scratches at my wounds
not yet healed

I did my best to bury you well, but you have no respect for death
much like you have no respect for life
for my esistence even


Your sickness palpable and rotting from the inside.
You offer only ill wishes and uninvited armchair psychiatric diagnosis
which mirror your own maladies.
You brand me sexist, narcissist; monikers that are more suited for your wearing
You scream for me to get out of my own home
as though you own everything
as though all revolves around your twisted gravitational pull

I have a lunch to reheat in a microwave
I'd rather choke on nutritionally degraded leftovers
than accept your uninvited friend request

Thursday, April 04, 2019

Tending Your Inner Garden

If you find yourself embroiled in a "friendship" with a narcissist rest assured that after they explode on you in a fit of narcissistic rage that they will need to have the last word.

I have always had a bit of a hard time with harsh words.  I tend to reread vitriolic emails, play on repeat in my head hateful things said to me, repeatedly swallowing the poison that others feed to me.

A recent encounter with a true narcissist made me realize something; I don't want that sort of negativity floating around inside me. I managed to set filters on my email to redirect hateful correspondence and then to delete it without reading it.  Perhaps this is a victory for my growth.

I no longer swallow the poison fed to my lips by those who care not about my mental well being and nor should anyone.

Some people will always need the last word, will always need to twist the knife they've stabbed into your gut.  You deserve better.  Boundaries are a beautiful thing.  There is so much talk about self care of late, but I don't think we talk enough about self protection, of establishing boundaries and respecting our minds as sacred spaces.

For those who trample upon the roses in your inner garden, it is perfectly reasonable to close the garden gate and latch it shut.  Best not disturb your inner peace with unnecessary negativity. Focus on planting things of beauty in the depth of your inner sanctum, water them and watch them grow.  Plant them near the borders to block out the site of hatefulness.  Something beautiful will bloom over time and obscure any unsightly views lurking on the border of your inner garden.

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