30 Days

Today is 30 days of not smoking.
Let's just call it a month.
Yay!

Waiting to Inhale

This is my old familiar friend, the albuterol inhaler. I used to carry one of these around with me all the time to deal with both allergy and exercise induced asthma. Well, I think I may have gotten to the bottom of this whole panic attack thing. The doctor I saw on Thursday gave me a new inhaler but told me that if I was having panic attacks then the inhaler would make them worse, so I have not been using it. Well, on Saturday, I was having a bit of labored breathing and decided to try the inhaler. In fact, I found that I could breathe again. It seems that perhaps my quitting smoking has brought back my asthma. The combination of stress, allergies and my lungs purging themselves of crud has gotten me to this place of having trouble breathing. The trouble breathing is causing me to have panic attacks. So, I am back to carrying around this little friend and hopefully I have found the root of the problem, so that I can tackle the world unhindered by a lack of air and a feeling of panic.

Day 26

I have not had a cigarette for 26 days.
However, I'm now on anxiety medication.
Life is a give and take. Time to explore new ways
of releasing my tension.

One Foot in front of the other

Photo by the deliciously noteworthy Ms. Carrie Thomas

Well, I am quickly approaching a month of not smoking. It is day 24.
Thus far it has definitely had it's ups and downs.
This week, I'm finding that I'm dealing with some shortness of breath
and insomnia. I know that it will pass. I've been walking a lot in the evening to try and push my way through the stress. I think I've walked around 11 miles in the last two days. It is the evening when I most want a cigarette. Instead I have been trudging through the city despite the fact that we are going through a full on heat wave. I end up returning home drenched in sweat, but I know it is therapeutic for me right now. I changed the inner tubes on my bike as the tires wouldn't stay inflated. I'm going to start biking soon and get back into running. All of these are things which I know are a good replacement for the cigarettes and a step in the right direction for my desire to acheive some renewed sense of physical fitness. One step at a time, one foot in front of the other. I am ready to tackle the world with renewed strength and purpose.

Day 15

I promise that the Rant has not turned into a glorified quit smoking log, just a temporary one. Today is a day of note, Day 15 of not smoking. This marks the beginning of week 3 in my journey. I'm settling into a comfortable place and feeling like I'm going to make it.

Day 12 is sponsored by bacon

Nothing says I love you
like a sizzling plate full of crispy delicious pig candy.


Welcome to day 12 of my life without cigarettes.
I'd like to take this time to thank our sponsor
for day 12... Bacon.








Just what the doctor ordered.

9 out of 10 doctors recommend fried bacon as an important
part of any healthy balanced diet.***

***Any claims of health benefits from bacon and all statistics regarding them are purely the ficticious creation and malinformed opinion of the author of this post. Prolonged exposure to bacon and/or bacon fat may cause cancer, birth defects, chronic diarrhea, migraine headaches, anal bleeding and miscarriage. Children under 3 should only be given bacon under close adult supervision with the recommendation of a board certified physician. In some individuals bacon may cause a rare but serious condition
known as bacon fever. If you experience foaming at the mouth, irrational anger, paranoia or night tremors, please contact your local poison control center.

Day 11

Well, it's day 11 of nonsmoking and I am delighted to say that it is going pretty well. I feel most anxious at night and took two tylenol PM pills to ensure restful sleep. I have definitely experienced a bit of grogginess as a result this morning.

For the most part I have not wanted to smoke, but when I looked at this photo of the broken cigarette it made my heart beat quickly and lustfully. It's strange how a simple image can illicit such a strong physical response.

Also, I am on day 4 of no coffee. I've replaced it with tea. I've been feeling oddly calm and a bit giddy. I feel very optimistic about life right now. I read a bit more of the artist's way and embark on a journey of artistic exploration starting next week. It's a bright new leaf to turn over and one that is long overdue.

Day 10

Well, It's day 10 of nonsmoking. Last night I felt for the first time very anxious and agitated like there was something missing. I drank orange juice to calm my nerves and went to bed early. I feel like my lungs are starting to purge a bit, which isn't the most comfortable sensation, but I know it will pass soon.

Whoo Hoo! Day 10!

As part of my turning over of a new leaf I picked up a book that has been on our shelves collecting dust. It is called The Artist's Way and has been given rave reviews by my friends who have read it. Though, from my understanding thus far, only having gotten through the introduction, it's more of a course on self discovery and unblocking one's creativity as an artist than it is just a straight read. It should be interesting to see what comes from such self exploration. Hopefully it will act as some sort of plunger for my artistic plumbing. I am ready to dive in and find out.

Day 9

"Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. " - Mark Twain

Here we go again. I am on day 9 of quitting smoking. I have lost count of how many times I've quit. My last long stretch was for 3 years. Then, a big ball of stress came rolling into my life and my knee jerk reaction was to pick up a cigarette, which led to another which led to another which led to a pack, which led to an addiction. Well, We had a friend staying with us in our apartment and all three of us got a cold at the same time. I'm just now getting over it thanks to lots of water and mucinex and homeopathic remedies. I cannot praise the power of chicken soup and cayenne pepper enough.

I developed a very nasty cough, as did my friend who smokes. K did not develop the cough, most likely because he does not smoke. I was forced to put down the cigarettes because I could not breathe. I think I would still be coughing had I not put them down. My friend is still smoking and on antibiotics and is still coughing a great deal. I had a panic attack on the train the other day because it was so crowded and I could not cough and I needed to and by supressing it, I started having an asthma attack on top of the congestion. I ran out of the subway and out onto the street near the bridge and called K, totally freaking out. I couldn't get back on the train, so we walked for a bit until I calmed down.

So, it's day 9 and I have barely even missed smoking. I don't crave the cigarettes like I normally do at this point in the quitting process. I am going to keep my determination and kick this nasty habit. I like breathing and right now I am breathing better than I have in months. I'm sure my singing voice and my lungs will thank me for this.