Everything is better with butter

Everything is better with butter. It's just a fact. I have to admit to an unhealthy relationship with this lickable stickable edible wonder.
Beyond what most would consider sane,I've found myself indulging in butter worship. I slather butter on mashed potatoes that were cooked with a stick of butter.

I will eat an entire stick of butter in the course of a meal.
The other day, I caught myself putting half a stick of the stuff into a take-out order of penne ala vodka.

my first realization of my butter "problem" was in a restaurant with my friend Sioban and a group of people. We were waiting for our food and there was no more bread at the table, the waiter missing in action. I slowly and almost unconciously unwrapped a little square of butter and popped it into my mouth and began sucking. Suddenly I realized that Sioban was giving me this look of absolute horror.

"Is that butter you're sucking on?"

"Yes"

"ok,Robert, seriously that's gross. You have to stop, now!"

So, as winter melts away, spring slides by and summer looms I begin to think about my body. I am bombarded with images of perfectly sculpted bodies. At times I feel that maybe I am valued just a little bit less when my little 12 year old girl twig arms come sliding out for short sleeve shirt season. At times I want people to look at me and say "I bet he knows how to change the oil on your car", but alas, it's probably more like "I bet he can crochet"...and guess what? I can change the oil on your car and crochet you a caddy for your socket wrenches. I can build barbed wire fence and I can perfectly caramilize the top of my creme brule with my torch. Yes, I own a torch.

So, anyway, I wish I were more buff sometimes. I'm ok. I'm not fat, I'm not skinny. I'm not muscular. I just am.

I must mention as a side note that I love my girls, the Glamazons. They are a plus sized burlesque troupe. They are big, beautiful and sweeter thand sugar.
I love you mammas. Sadly, one of their members has left the group to pursue higher education and they're looking for a replacement, so if you know a bigger than life broad who can hike up her tits and zip up her boots and shake her thing, well, you should let Meryl "lady finger" know right away.



photo credit-Carrie Thomas