I must say that I've come a long way from the demos recorded on minidisc with a radio shack microphone and the sound of a broken smoke detector beeping in the background. K, btw is one of the only people allowed to listen to those recordings.
They reside in the vault, next to the skeletons on the top shelf of my closet.
Talk about B-sides. Lord help you all.
So, as I was saying... I'm building a studio and working on demos.
There is one piece of equipment that I have needed very badly for
sound consistency and quality sake. It is a preamp, in fact the same
one that was used on part of Sirens of Brooklyn and for all the tracks on Sunrise.
After much investigation and saving of money, I decided to suck it up and eat rice for a while as I have to finish this project. It is not a choice, but a necessity. I am being pulled toward my third album and I have to put these songs on the second album before I lose focus.
I stepped into Sam Ash on July 16th in hopes of buying the preamp. It's something they carry on their website but did not have in the store. The salesguy, named Robert, said he could special order it which would take 7-10 days. The guy who helped me ( I use the word help, very loosely and with a heavy smattering of sarcasm) was talking on his cellphone the entire time, further evidence that society is surely crumbling under our feet.
So, I put down a deposit equal to about half my monthly rent and trotted away from the store, eager to receive a call in 7-10 days telling me that the preamp had arrived at Sam Ash.
Day 13
(the beginning of the end)I decided to call my salesguy on day 13 because it's my lucky number and I was eager to get the preamp so that I could work on tracks.
After giving him my order number, i got an unsettling feeling when he began asking me questions like
What did you order? What's your name? What's a phone number where I can call you back. To clarify this was preceeded by awkward stuttering. He said he would call me back in a few minutes. He did not call me back.
Three hours later, I call the store. My sales guy abruptly tells me that there was a mistake with the ordering and my order will be in soon. I ask him what soon means. His answer:7 to 10 days.
I tell him that it's already been 13 days since he told me 7 to 10 days.
He proceeds to yell at me DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT A MISTAKE IS?
suddenly every tiny hair on the back of my neck stands at attention like a cat that is about to hiss.
I restrain myself and instead say that yes, I do understand what a mistake is, but I either need the order in the next couple of days or I need to cancel the order and get the preamp somewhere else. He starts yelling again.
OH! YOU THINK YOU CAN GET IT SOMEWHERE ELSE?! YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET IT SOMEWHERE ELSE.
i respond by saying that I'm not going to be yelled at and that I need to speak to his manager.
I explain to the manger what has happened. The manager, named Tony tells me that the order was processed incorrectly and the item was shipped to the wrong store. He tells me that he will call the company that manufactures the preamp and try to get it overnighted at no cost to me. He promises me that I will have the preamp before the end of the week. This is Tuesday, btw. On Thursday, I get a call that goes to voicemail. It is the salesperson, Robert. He leaves a message telling me that the preamp will be in the store tomorrow and that I can come in and get it then.
Day 16(aka an hour of my life is wasted)
I arrived at Sam Ash Friday evening to pick up the preamp, which my saleseguy since my salesguy went out of his way to leave me a message telling me would be in the store.
I arrive at the register with my receipt. I am told by the cashier that I have to pay the balance on the order. I hand the cashier an amount of money equal to two months rent. A woman runs to the back, presumably to retrieve my preamp. She returns and asks me who told me that the item was in the store. I reply that it was my salesperson and that if it's not in the store, we've got a real problem. My skin begins to burn and my blood begins to boil. The manager, tony who promised that it would be in at the end of the week starts going into this thing about how it's a special order and it's hard to tell when it will come in and I ask him why his salesperson told me to come into the store and get it. I tell the manager that I feel like I've been lied to. He argues and says I haven't been lied to. After being unable to get any sort of anwer as to when the item will come into the store, I tell the manager that I want my money back and that I will never shop at Sam Ash again. He says that he understands and they will take care of it. The cashier tries to cancel the order and refund the money. He says he can't do it, that the order is "locked". The manager, named Richard comes over and tries to cancel it and he can't. They tell me that they can't cancel the order or refund my money until the item arrives in the store. At this point, I have been at Sam Ash for an hour. I decide that to prevent me from losing a grip I need to walk away from the store. The manger Richard tells me that the item should come into the store either Saturday or Sunday but at the latest monday. I say ok, whatever and I leave.
I met with Rob Martin, the director of the last music video and Michael (AKA Chic, AKA one of the nurses in the video).
We discussed concepts for 3 possible music videos for the next album. I drank two martinis and ate nachos. It took way too long to shake the irritation of the Sam Ash experience. I decided to relax for the weekend and try not to think about the preamp. Afterall, there are starving children and much more pressing issues in the world than my need for a metal box to fulfill my artistic whims.
(To be continued)
.....and then Day 19
On Monday, I decided to call the store and speak to Tony, the manager who promised the preamp by week's end. I was informed that he had left for 10 days of vacation. That's just great for him. I'm sure he deserves it and I really hope he doesn't get sunburned or stung my jelly fish or trapped in a hotel resort elevator with an extraordinarily smelly man for 10 hours. I kid of course. I do not wish anyone at Sam Ash ill will. I just wish that they had treated me like a valued customer.
There is nothing worse than that feeling where you know that now you have to explain everything that has happened from the beginning to a new person, essentially bringing you back to square one. The lovely thing about Sam Ash is that apparently none of the managers communicate customer issues with one another nor does it seem that they really take responsibility for a customer's issue. They just take off for 10 days vacation and let the chips fall where they may.
So, I tried to speak to the closest thing to a manager who knew what was going on, the guy named Richard. Richard said he would look into the order for me, but kept telling me that he would call me back in 5 minutes or 15 minutes and would never call me back. So I would wait and hour or two hours and call him back, so as to not be an absolute psycho about the whole thing, but seriously. Why do people say they will call in 5 minutes then not call when they know someone is already an upset dissatisfied customer? Richard assured me that the preamp was being couriered from Long Island and would arrive "Today".
I asked if it was being couriered by donkey. He said, perhaps it was. He said he was taking personal responsibility and that when I came to pick up the merchandise, I would be credited at the register for my trouble.
Fast forward to day 20. I call the store 3 hours after they open to speak with Richard. I ask the guy who answers the phone, a gentleman by the name of Alexander, if he could check on my order. He tells me that my preamp has been shipped to a store in Florida. I ask for Richard. I am told that he is off for the day. I ask if there is another manager. I am handed over to the store manager, Bobby. I now have to explain everything again to a new manager. How awesome is that?So, to be fair, Bobby is apparently the only manager at the NYC Sam Ash who has any sort of customer service skills. He not only apologized for everything, but also managed to call me back when he said he would and within an hour of speaking with him, I was told that the preamp was in the store.
I went to pick up the preamp immediately, crossing my fingers on my way. When I got to the store, the cashier grabbed the box and started to put it in the bag, but then decided to ask the other cashier who had been there on Friday if it was indeed the right item. She said that it was then proceeded to tell me that it had arrived on Friday right after I left the store. I asked her why if it had arrived on Friday was it being couriered from Long Island on Monday. I then asked the cashier about the credit to my order, which Richard had promised. Of course, He had no knowledge of it. He said I'd have to speak with Richard, but Richard wasn't here. I internally said Fuck it, grabbed my merchandise and walked out of the store.
And this my dear readers is why, after years of spending way too much money at Sam Ash in New York, I will never shop there again. They have the absolute worst customer service I think I've ever encountered. It seems to be a growing trend that customers are no longer valued or treated like people. Sam Ash is the latest victim of this trend.
On a happier lighter note, I'll let you know my feelings about the preamp shortly? Was it worth it? haha. God, I hope so.
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