an angry toothfish is swimming in my stomach

You learn something new every day if you keep your eyes and ears open. Today for instance I learned that there is no such thing as chilean seabass. Yes, stop the presses. I know your dreams are shattered and you feel just as let down and lied to as I feel at this moment. Chilean seabass is in fact the sexy name given to the rather unfortunate looking patagonian toothfish which isn't even a bass.

I had never sampled the pleasures of patagonian toothfish until someone got my order wrong just a few minutes ago and gave me the little critter instead of salmon. I decided to just suck it up and try something new. It was nothing to write home about but didn't really upset my stomach or anything.

That is until I opened my web browser and saw this.


I now have an angry patagonian toothfish thrashing around in my tum tum.
I will try to summon my comfort animal and an artificial forcefield of zen.
If that fails there's always the backup plan of tums and a ginger tea.

She will crush you with her Vagina

Look what crawled out of the rift! (nerdy Torchwood reference)
Madonna kicked off her world tour in Cardiff Wales, and by the looks of these pictures, she will crush you with her killer vagina. Listen, I'm all for fitness and keeping the crusty old body toned and tight, but there is a point when it's too much.

Please dear queen of pop, back away from the thigh master and give those lady muscles a rest...and for the love of god, quit flashing your crotch. Yes, It's a lovely crotch for a 50 year old woman, but I don't even wanna see a 20 year old woman's crotch, let alone one that has been worked to the brink and back. Thank you and god save the queen.

Apparently It's Madonna Week

Alright, I had to. Like a Prayer has come into the discussion, so here is Oh Father.
I think this is one of Madonna's most real heartfelt songs. Sometimes when I hear this it makes me cry.
We won't talk about why unless you have a degree in psychiatry, a comfortable couch and a lot of time on your hands.

Which do you prefer?

I must admit that I am not a Madonna fan.

I know. Gasps of homo horror just reverberated through the blog-o-sphere.
I will also admit that a few of her songs are guilty pleasures.
You never know what's going on underneath my headphones.
After all, Ace of Base, Abba and Britney Spears are all on my ipod.

I probably shouldn't have brought up the subject of madonna.
After all, you can't throw a brick in a homo bar without hitting a madonna fan in the head.
Don't throw a brick in a homo bar, by the way.
It's not a good way to test my theory and they have stricter penalties for hate crimes.

I do have to give some respect to Madonna for pushing the envelope.
However, when her American Life video came out, she caved under pressure to censor herself.

I must say that I think this is a good example of how censorship ruins art.

Check out the two versions of the video and let me know what you think.

American Life Censored:
(the boring version that aired)


American Life Uncensored:
(the edgy interesting version that should have aired)

While we're on the subject of Madonna,
I think the video to What it feels like for a girl, directed by her husband, Guy Ritchie, is brilliant.




Alright, if you throw a brick in a homo bar, you might hit me. NO BRICKS and NO THROWING!