Broken Inside

I am broken inside
unfixably broken
You have spoken words of love
without the balls to back them
I would kick you there if you didn't lack them.

I want you to be happy. Isn't that crazy?

My chest is burning. I can't breathe.
My eyes are watering.
My throat is a lump that I can't swallow.
I feel hollow with your voice echoing through my insides
reverberating against my guts, my bones, my ribs
beating against the parts that have no give.
the little brittle spots I thought I'd killed.
They are pulsing..pounding so loudly I can't
hear anything but the blood in my ears.
and every fear.

My breath has been taken.
My fingers are numb.
I am struck dumb and have fallen back to where I crawled from.