In the third grade I began to dabble in the planting and tending-to of Petunias and other girly flowers. The first signs that I was starting down the slippery slope towards homosexual depravity. It was around this same time that I built the protoype for my first time machine.
These simpler times are fond to my heart. I spent most of my childhood playing in the dirt, riding horses and creating imaginary worlds and languages that only I could see and speak.
Often, I long for the simplicity of a world where the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby and the strange behavior of overproduced washed up white trash pop princesses are not considered newsworthy items.
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