Friday, August 22, 2008

S.O.B. (It's hard to let go sometimes)

I have to learn to let go.
I have such a hard time releasing people from my life
who have hurt me deeply.
I hold onto them.
I mostly forgive them but
hold onto this kernel of pain and resentment.
Why do I forgive them and why shouldn't I?

There are only a handful of people for whom I have written songs.
Recently following the passage of time, I suddenly felt compelled to
send one of these songs to the man who inspired it.
That song was S.O.B., The title track from my first album.

Though I know this is a hard song to swallow and didn't
necessarily expect a reaction (or at least not a good one).
I guess I really didn't consider the possibility
that he would be oblivious to the fact that the song was
written about him and his insane behavior.
I mean, what kind of monster leaves someone they supposedly care about
stranded in Arizona?

Sometimes people really blow me away.

Oh, and where the hell is my box set of Sex and the CIty?
remember? My payment for working at HBO for that event?

MUST LEARN TO LET GO.
Harboring such things will cause a tumor to grow in my heart.
MUST LEARN TO LET GO
Some people are toxic and will slowly poison me.
MUST LEARN TO LET GO
Releasing these crazy destructive people will free up more time to spend with the wonderful caring people in my life.
I believe that all people are inherently good, but that doesn't mean that some of them aren't full of hatred and anger.
That doesn't mean that some of them are not capable of being monsters. I have to accept that I can't fix or embrace every broken person who collides with my life.

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