Monday, March 31, 2008

Full Throttle

I feel energized and pumped full of inspiration and innovation.
After performing on Saturday at the Lori Beechman theater, I just felt some kind of jolt to my system.
On Sunday, I picked up my guitar and played for hours...working on old songs, new songs, changing up the way I
Play some of them. I attacked the strings with controlled agression...well, is it still controlled agression if your fingers bleed?
I probably should have taped my cuticles before finger picking and strumming so vigorously.

All I can say is this. There are some amazing things happening in rehearsal. I feel a rennaisance as if I am playing songs for the first time...songs that had become somewhat routine. Be prepared, because I have entered musical bootcamp.
I will settle for nothing less than knocking your socks off.

My 2 new mottos, which I plan on taping to the wall above my desk

"Never settle for Good" "Exceed all expectations"

Over and out.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

A trip to the Swanson-Lowry Bed and Breakfast

We drove up to Simon and Jason's country home on Friday for Easter. It is this beautiful 200 year old house nestled between a pond and a dairy farm in upstate New York. There is a fireplace, no cellphone service and a real sense of peace and quiet about the place. It's the perfect spot to drink wine, eat num nums and sleep much too late.

On Saturday we went to the market to buy groceries, wine and pick up a salmon which Jason was preparing to poach via the kindly influences of Martha Stewart using his newly purchased fish poacher. We made a visit to the pond to look at the fish, who gather near the edge hoping for crumbs as tadpoles wiggled around in the water. We watched a woodpecker brutalzing a tree.

We returned to the house and boiled eggs for coloring. The kit came with one of those wax pens and in an adorable display of affection, Simon, Jason, K and I all wrote sweet little love notes on eggs. "I love K" "Jason and Simon 4ever" "Robert is hot" "I love Jason"...if you need a little bag to vom in, let me know. When the eggs emerged from their little plastic dye buckets our secret love notes were revealed along with an egg on which I wrote "jesus is risen" with a little cross.

In the evening we were joined by Lauren, Linda and Kyle and had a Roast with green beans, Yorkshire pudding and my famous wasabi twice baked potatoes.

After a lovely dinner, we sat by the fire until the consumption of wine and brandy turned the kitchen into a disco party. There are photos. If not too embarrassing, perhaps I will share.

On Sunday I made bloody marys and observed and occasionally helped with the preparations for an exceedingly delectable brunch centered around a highly pampered fish cooked with much love and care. I did not want to leave for the city, wishing we had one more day in the country,but alas, all good things must come to an end. With food in our bellies and the warmth of holiday cheer in our corroded hearts, we piled into a car and returned to the urban jungle.

Thank you to Simon and Jason for inviting us into your home and providing the utmost hospitality.

The Rant gives the Swanson-Lowry Bed and Breakfast 5 out of 5 stars.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Holiday Tips and treats

Easter is upon us and whether you're a pagan or a christian there are plenty of fun ways to celebrate the holiday.
Here are three days and three ways to celebrate in style.

Day 1- Good Friday
Jesus Shaped Sugar Cookies with grape juice cocktail

As a part of your good friday religious service, these sugar cookies are a great alternative to traditional communion.
I recommend a basic sugar cookie recipe like this. I make my own cookie cutters which is a little bit of work, but worth the effort if you want that extra special touch.

Day 2- Microwave Peeps
The Sunday of Easter weekend is a time to be joyous and celebrate the resurrection. Saturday however, can be a bit of a downer. That lull between the crucifixition and the resurrection doesn't have to leave you down in the dumps. A microwave and a basket full of peeps are a surefire way to lift your spirits.

Day 3- The Obligatory Easter Egg Hunt

No Easter weekend would be complete without an Easter Egg hunt, but if you're a busy "working girl" like me, then you're gonna be tired by the time Sunday rolls around....what with all the cookie baking and peep-o-waving. Instead of going to all the toil and trouble of dying eggs for a traditional Easter Egg hunt, I recommend a much easier option.
Buy yourself the largest plastic eggs that you can. (the kind you put candy in) Head to the liquor store and get yourself some airplane sized bottles of booze. Stuff the booze in the eggs and hide them around the house. The hunt is on.

Have the best Easter celebration, and remember, Don't drink and Drive and only you can prevent a forest fire.

Myspace- a place for whores

There is no amount of coffee that could prepare me for this image burned into my retinas early in the morning courtesy of our "friends" over at myspace.
I have no problem with bimbos, whores or any of their slutty cousins named Cindy, Tammy, Melissa, etc. trolling the internet for that special friend.

...but come on! These girls need a few lessons in targeted marketing.
It's hard out there for a girl looking for love in all the wrong places and a full time job plastering pictures of your vajayjay in the inboxes of a thousand some odd myspace users. Why waste that honey pot on someone like me who really can't appreciate its splendorous caverns of delight? I'm not buying what you're selling sister, so please close the curtains and take that show to another town, cuz there will be no tent pitching three ring circus up in here.

Where are the male bimbos? The "mimbos"? Are they busy sending suggestive crotch shots to horrified lesbians?

Wednesday, March 19, 2008


Friday was exciting with the news that my music video had climbed to #1 on Logo. How awesome it felt to be in the top spot on a national countdown. I reveled. Yes, I reveled as I should.

Lately for some reason I have become sort of obsessed with the song, Cherry Falls, a track that has not been officially recorded unless you count the lo-fi demos I've been concocting in my apartment. There is something about this song. I know that it will turn some people off by its graphic nature, but it is very real to me. It is something that I think needs to be heard whether it makes people squirm or not.

I've been distracted. We moved into a new apartment which seems to put my life on pause. We haven't even hung all the curtains. I can dance in my underwear in the living room, but perhaps I am giving people a show they don't want to see.
K and I have been dating for 10 months. Relationships must add to my body like the rings on a tree, showing its age by how bloated I feel. The comfort of love makes one more prone to lying around eating much too much shephard's pie. Laura has been studying pastry arts at culinary school. She has been creating these amazing things, but every time I see her, she gives me a plate, bowl, basket or tin filled with bleeched white flour demons. I consume them. I ly around. I kiss my sweet and add another ring to the tree.

My nephew was diagnosed with a rare chromosonal disorder and has started growth hormone treatments that the insurance will not cover despite the fact that they are necessary for his development and some semblance of a normal life. My sister called last night to let me know that her husband fell from 12 feet of scafolding, breaking his pelvis, requiring surgery.

I went to Karoke last night, one of my least favorite activities of all time. Graham Norton was there. how odd.

Well, I feel spring pecking at my window like an overly zealous bird. With it, I am feeling this renewed sense of purpose. I don' t want to say that I've been floundering, but rather I've been thinking a lot. I've been allowing the world around me to just kind of flow as it may. Now, I feel very determined to create, to kick the world in the kick myself in the butt.

I'm searching for a drummer and a cellist. I'm getting ready to dust off my yoga mat. I have a sudden craving to catch up on sleep and eat salmon in the countryside. This weekend is Easter. We are going upstate to Jason and Simon's house. I'm planning on dying eggs and hiding them around the property. I'm planning on drinking and sleeping more than I shoud.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

#1 on Logo

YAY! It is with great excitement and a bit of delay that I announce some very wondeful news.

The music video for my song, Open Wide is #1 on Logo's Clicklist thanks to the voting of
fans, friends and random unknown supporters. Well, Whoever you are, Thank You. It is truely mindblowing to be #1 on a national television countdown. I've had #1's on the radio before, but this feels like much more of an accomplishment.

For those of you who haven't seen the video, you can go to Logo's website and view it.
while you're there, you can also vote for it.



Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Political Fear

I have never felt that the US political system was really designed for common people to have a say in elections, but rather was designed to give them the illusion of having a voice. Let's face it. We operate under a system designed by rich white men who wanted to protect their own self interest. Otherwise, we wouldn't have something called the Electoral College. There wouldn't be (it's a bird. It's a plane. It's...) superdelegates.

Is our country great in many ways? No doubt.

Is it better than many countries in terms of freedom and liberty? Of course, though I would say that it has slipped a bit since 2000. The patriot act, the botched Bush Gore Election, the war in Iraq over Weapons of Mass Destruction that never existed in the first place, unconstitutional searches, federally sanctioned warrantless wiretaps, CIA torture in Cuba... I could go on and on until your eyes glaze and you shut off.

I think my eyes glazed over a long time ago. When did things go so terribly wrong??

So a bi-racial "black" man came along preaching hope and talking about gay rights not just in whispered tones at gay events but in black churches. Of course I was more than a little excited by this. He spoke of change, hope, tax breaks for the poor and college tuition credits. He talked about ending the war in Iraq and spending the wasted money on bridges, schools and the creation of jobs. Some people thought it to be naive. I thought it revolutionary. He talked of changing Washington and the death grip held by lobbyists on our democratic process. Most of all, he backed his up by not taking their money and campaigning with funds from small donations given by regular people. I even gave him $20. In the grand scheme, it's not a lot, but it filled me with pride.

Now something strange is happening that transcends my optimistic belief in hope. It is a churning of acid in my stomach that is eating away at the lining and threatening to rise in my chest like fire. It is the forest I see and not the trees. This ongoing battle between Barrack Obama and Hillary Clinton is dividing the voters who would put a democrat in office. The democrats need to rally behind one candidate but unfortunately they can't decide who that is. I fear that when they do, it will be too late and to the victor will go the spoils of a sour victory.

The danger in Hillary winning is that supporters of Barrack are part of a movement. It is a ferver, a fever, an ideology. If she crushes that, she disenfranchises a large group of people many of whom normally do not even vote. Somehow Obama struck a chord with them, a chord I don't feel Clinton is capable of capturing.

If Obama wins the nomination, I fear that he will be so damaged by negative campaigning and a prolongued nomination process, that he will have lost much of his momentum and the message of his campaign.

No matter the outcome of this process, my biggest fear is a crack I see forming and growing, splitting right down the middle of the party. A divided party is falling apart at a time when it needs to unite for the greater good. I fear that the division will only grow. I fear that we are lost. What do I know? I'm only a musician.

Paula Abdul

OK Kids, I have a confession to make.
I'm not proud nor am I ashamed of this admission, but I have something to get off my chest.

The first concert that I ever saw was Paula Abdul in Bonner Springs Kansas with opening act Color me Badd.
OK, I have a second confession. I really enjoyed it and thought it was super awesome.
OK...I was 13 years old and it was during that phase where I wore overalls with one strap hanging down and a neon colored shirt underneath. I also had that haircut where it looked like somone put a bowl on my head and cut everything that wasn't underneath the bowl. The bowl haircut? Is that what it's called?

I remember hearing the song Rush Rush on the radio and saying, Oh my god, I have to get that. I purchased a cassette single and strolled around with my walkman listening to the song over and over and over and over again. Obsessive Compulsive? Maybe. Pure joy to my little 13 year old ears, absolutely.

So, why am I suddenly sharing this confession? Well, I got a letter a couple of weeks ago. I must admit that I read every letter that I receive but am not very good at responding. Part of this is my horrific handwriting, but I know that's not the best excuse.

So, Ricky, there is no shame in being all about that new Paula Abdul single. Though many think she is washed up, there was a time when she danced her ass off and dominated the pop charts.

So, in honor of my secret love, I'm going to share a few Paula Abdul video clips...just because.

First, a video that really showcased Paula Abdul's dancing ability, Cold Hearted Snake. Remember Paula did choreography for videos for eveyone from Janet Jackson to ZZ Top. This video was a tribute to Bob Fossey. Yes. I know more about Paula Abdul than I should.

Of Course Rush Rush because it is Paula's tribute to Rebel Without a Cause, obviously.

And.....just because this footage really cracked me up...

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