Thursday, May 28, 2009

600 miles (excerpt)

Thank you for coming to the show
It means more to me than you will ever know.
I travelled 600 miles just to tune my guitar
for the men playing pool and the ladies laughing at the bar

but you listened to every word that I said.
You offered me a ride and a beer and a bed
you told me I'm amazing and I promise it won't go to my head.

Thank you for the letter that you wrote.
I've been strugglin' just to keep myself afloat
I had rocks in my sweater and I was goin' for a swim
when she handed me your letter I was drownin' over him

but your words pulled me back from the tide
from the place where my fears and my failures collide.
I might have swallowed half the ocean just to wash down the taste of my pride

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Empty Hands

You drink too much
I know because I do too
I recognize the bleary eyes that belong to you.
you resent the forgetting
blaming me for pointing out the points that were upsetting
when you howl at the sky
when the dark side rises out of your skin
again and again
like clockwork
a knee jerk reaction to something deep within your bones
something still unknown but always there, staring me in the face.
I am standing farther away, trying to keep the demons at bay
but missing the person that they inhabit.
trying to explain, but you won't have it.
your ears are filled with sand.
your heart is torn in strands.
your plate is full
but empty hands

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Common Cement

To pull you from the flames

To pull you from the flames of love gone wrong
would take a giant and I am not that strong.
you wipe your lips
they smell of kerosine and feed the flames
for only you unseen.

Perfection, not a virtue I would fit
to ask of you would I turn hypocrite?
I stand aside and watch the clouds of smoke
I offer water and but still you choose to choke.

2 Years

2 years ago today I had just moved into a basement apartment. I was sleeping on a blowup mattress and the floor had just been finished so I was dealing with a constant nausea that comes from breathing in fumes. I had just finished a stint of sleeping on people's sofas for over a year, traveling like a wandering gypsy, bags and guitar in tow. The blowup mattress was a big step up.

I rushed with my guitar and equipment to a show held at Cadman Plaza in Brooklyn for Marriage Equality New York. As everything was being setup,I spied a boy in tight jeans with nice legs and very cute floppy ears. I told my friend that he would be my boyfriend. I of course never made eye contact or tried to approach him. It was more of a joke. I had given up on dating. My life at that point in fact did not even leave room for flirtation. I was content with and resigned to being alone.

I performed a set as my self while two dragqueen friends, Chic and Sassy held umbrellas over my head to sheild me and my guitar from the rain. Then, I performed a set as Kitt & Kaboodle, my cabaret alter-ego with Jeff Cubeta. I was packing up my guitar and winding down when I was approached by a tight jean wearing floppy eared boy. He asked if I had a mailing list. I said yes, but I had rushed and didn't have it with me. He seemed dejected. Was he flirting with me? I was impervious to such things and oblivious perhaps, but hopeful. Maybe I wasn't content with being alone. I had seen him earlier walking around with a microphone followed by a camera crew. I asked him what they were filming for and he told me it was for a television show produced by the LGBT community center. I gave him my email address and told him to email me to let me know when the show aired. (this is the short version, btw. He left and then came back minutes later. I thought I had scared him away...and the whole throughout the whole situation I was very confused with his intentions...if it was flirtation, professional networking...I had no clue.)

I received an an email a few days later

"Hello, Im the guy with the camera from the marriage rally. The show
will be airing the third thursday of June in Manhattan on time warner
34 at 1030 and some other time on BCAT. You can also watch it online
Also if you ever want to grab a coffee or something that would be great."

I responded:

"Hey Konstantine (a.k.a. guy with the camera)

Thanks for the info. I don't own a television, so I'll
have to check it out on the website.

I am always up for grabbing a coffee or something. If
that something involves an old wooden rollercoaster in
Coney Island or a game of pool, even better.
I'm free Thursday evening,this friday from 2-4pm or after
8pm(very specific, I know), and then I'm in Minneapolis
doing a show, but I'll be back on Monday."

I will spare you the details and just say, the rest is history.
Two year later, I'm engaged to a floppy eared boy who looks quite hot in tight jeans.
oh and he is smart and sweet and kind and gentle and all that stuff... If you need a puke bucket, I totally understand.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus

Occasionally a movie comes along that is so horribly bad that it's amazingly awesome. One of those is Coffy with Pam Grier, an absolute classic in my book.
The question is, Can Deborah (Debbie electric youth) Gibson and Lorenzo Lamas pull off the so horrible it's amazingly snakes on a plane good with their newest picture Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. It's a challenging balancing act. You watch the trailer and decide.

btw, if this does not go straight to DVD, I am so going to the theater to see this. That is no joke. Who's with me?

Thursday, May 07, 2009

remember these?

Peak a boo

Hello out there. Testing testing, is this thing on?
It has been a while since I've written here.
I promise that I am still alive, still working on music, still breathing and all. I've still got ten fingers and ten toes and an overabundance of love for bacon despite the hysteria over a little flu. Swine flu? really? Is this what it's come to? It's just a different strain of the blu people. It's not the end of the world. It's not ebola.

I'd much rather read headlines about pirates. I know that it's tragic and all, but I kept looking at cnn's website and seeing headline about pirates. I let out a little arrg in my head. I pictured men with patches over their eyes and scarves on their heads, brandishing swords and swinging in on ropes to kidnap unsuspecting passengers.
The word pirate makes me smile. I'm not totally sure why. It doesn't even have to be proceeded by the word butt to make me do it.

There has been much going on with my family. It has really taken its toll on me. One bright spot of light that peaked through the clouds was my sister who came to visit us in New York. She is 4 months pregnant, expecting a boy, so needless to say her visit focused around food and her desire to eat it. I have no complaints on that front.

this is all for now...peak a boo. I'll be back with you soon

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