Critters

Photo by the gorgeous & Talented
Carrie Thomas

When I was in the 4th grade, my parents were called into my gradeschool to deal with the backlash of my hyperactivity. I had apparently become a distraction to the other students by making strange noises. Most of these students were probably so harmed by my noisemaking that they were unable to acheive success beyond the dead-end jobs they found in that small Oklahoma town.

I take full responsibility for their failure.

Of course my life of audio pollution didn't end in the 4th grade. I am a serial noise maker. I have always been fascinated and oddly connected to animals and as such have found the need to communicate with them. I used to spend hours in my apartment on 5th avenue in Brooklyn watching the pigeons dancing on the adjacent rooftop,studying their sounds and later calling them to me, much like a siren, though
I meant no harm.

The gravity of my noisemaking became undeniably apparent on a trip to Boston to visit Chan Chuy Yi or Chewy as I liked to call her back in the day when we lived in our first roach infested apartment,and I worked 80 hours a week for an entire summer.

We were walking through Boston Common when I decided that I wanted to chat with the squirrels. I started my little clicking/nibbly noises and it made chewy smile. Squirrels began coming towards us from all directions, not two or three but at least a dozen. Soon,We were surrounded by squirrels and they were closing in. I'm not sure what I was saying to them exactly, but it must have been quit intriguing.

Chewy clutched my arm and ordered me to stop.
I wonder what would have happened if I had kept talking to the squirrels.

Two nights ago, I was walking on Montague street at 1 in the morning, guitar in tow. I stumbled upon a churchyard where two rats were having a very intense conversation. I stopped and listened for a while. Sometimes, you have to have conversations with the critters or at least pay attention to what they have to say.

We all have to get along in this world, and I hope that by doing my part, the critters feel a human connection. I'd rather introduce myself to the rats and be on speaking terms than meet them in a dark alley when they're having a bad day. It's best to establish a cordial relationship from the get-go. Don't think for a second that rats don't talk by the way, if you piss one of them off, you are in serious trouble.