Photo by Carrie Thomas
Dear Cindy,
I'm sorry I killed your kitten. I know you thought I was a responsible individual, but you were sadly mistaken. I am working on reforming my evil ways and discontinuing my use of power tools without adult supervision.
I am taking an anger management class and I have cut out coffee and food items that contain high fructose corn syrup. I have been working with the local ashram where they have taught me humility, vegetarian cooking and the child's pose. I am also volunteering my time at the local hospital where they care for the crack babies.
I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive a wayward sinner who forgot that murder is wrong.
I am studying all 9 of the 10 commandments because really, George Carlin was right. They should be condensed.
I promise I will not kill anymore kittens.
I have found Jesus.
I hope that you too have found the lord.
He is the eternal light.
My boyfriend has also found jesus and swears that he will not help me kill anymore kittens, but he still has special "wrong" feelings towards my very ghetto booty. I also have these feelings, but we pray together in our bed before we sleep. I find the sweet release and comfort that only another man can give me.
Hallelujiahhh
Praise the lord
Amen
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