You can see the storm came through here

Photo by Carrie Thomas

One of the best things that ever happened to me was when I lost everything.
Being stripped down to your core shows you who you are and what you are made of.
It also has a humbling effect.

I lost most of what seemed valuable to me shortly before I turned 25. I spent a year of my life swallowed up in pain and very lost. I played guitar on the street for change with a bandaged hand and had conversations with the homeless, ragged and forgotten souls of the city.

I turned to music to deal with my pain and loss and found that through writing songs I could heal myself.

I have turned to my guitar in the times when I am frustrated, elated, hurt and confused.

It has been a new sensation not having my guitar. I did not realize how attached I had grown to this instrument. I needed to express my loss and the thing that I would normally use to express my feelings was the thing I had lost.

I have been paralyzed for the last week. Slowly, I have been forcing myself to move.
Wiggle Your Big Toe
It feels like this is the end of a chapter. My ceiling is patched. The leak is fixed. I am in love with an amazing man. I'm not sure of what is next. It doesn't frighten me. It is just the way I would expect it to be. I have seen so much, been given so much and lost so much that I am smoothed over by the sand and the waves. I give myself over to the ebb and flow. I surrender.